Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Sweet Dreams Reunion

Carmen and I spent two days soaking up the energy in Sedona, where an ancient sea's spires rise upward in red rock magnificence, where the peaceful desert with agave and cactus meets oak creek canyon at about 4,500 feet with burbling creek water sliding over smooth rocks among towering pines, oak, aspen, maple.   

We left this place full.   Content.  The beginning of our new relationship taking root.  Perhaps the magic of the "vortex" entered us.  Or perhaps we found our own magic in the stillness, in the blues and reds and greens.  In the warmth and sunlight.

Today we arrived in Phoenix with a hug from Jim saying "the crew has arrived!"   Carmen and Nikki jumped right back into best friend togetherness, talking and laughing and splashing in the pool as if no time had passed.  Colton razzing them in that big brother sort of way.  Richard was a palpable missing part if this four person gang.  

And in a funny way, I felt at home.  With Gina and Jim and their family.  During dinner we reminisced about Mexocan sailing stories, laughed a whole lot about flipping dinghies at Tenacatita.  And I realized why we are here.   To share and to help.   To sail and to travel.   To make memories and deepen friendships.  

Tomorrow will be a day of shopping and provisioning, and by Thursday night we should be in Mexico.  Sleeping on the beach or aboard Northern Passage.  The second leg of our journey completed.  Two more legs to go.  

Bring it on!!!

Monday, April 28, 2014

The River That Lives

    The river that lived. That's what it felt like. At times it was a gushing current, at others it was a soft, flowing mirror pool of simplicity. 
    I explored further up river by skipping. Or hopping. Or jumping. Or simply letting myslf fall across the gap between stones that poked up from the water like the warm backs of turtles. Turtlestones -no- more like turtlerocks or turtleboulders. Or maybe turtlesteppingstones? Menono... turtlestones works.
    I'd crouch down and extend my leg from the turtleboulder that i was on to the small turtlestone that would take me one stone closer to... well, my destination, wherever that was.
    Mom was there, and it wouldn't have been half the experiance it was without her. Her calming presence and willingness to go wherever it was that I was going was... typical. I know that whichever road I choose, my Mother will be there, my trusty steed forevermore wether I like it or not. 

    I hate blank pages. But when I see one I cant help feeling ba for it. You might say that they're jst waiting to be filled, but what if there was a forgotten little paper. Growing old and coated in dust. Then finally being found with this newfound hope trys to glow whiter. I must be irisistable! it thinks. I'll finally have a story to tell! But, alas, the victory is short-lived and it getts balled up in the trash. So whenever I see a blank page I cant help but write or draw or give it it's own story to tell. I think everything should have it's own story. Don't you? Don't you want to fill those little papers' hearts with hope and joy and adventure? I know I do. 
    But what ifthere were blank-page-people? No- not what if- where are. I think that everyone is born a blank page. We're just waiting for something to give us a story to tell. How would you feel if you were that old paper, forgotten in a corner. Destined to end up in a ball in the trash. I thik no one should be that dust coated blank page. everyone should have a story to tell. Just because you're down does not mean you dont have a story to tell. So keep on telling you're story, little page. And if you ever have doubt, believe in your self. Because you are just as capable, just as strong as the person sitting next to you. So be your own person and tell the world your story.
Just to clarify, I know I'm going on a grand adventure across an ocean for a month with some friends that i met when I was cruising for 13 months and going from Alaska down to the end of Mexico. But why didn't I write abut it Because I honestly don't choose what I write. that last post, it was sopposed to be about eggs in a nest with a momma sitting on them in the back yard of the house we're renting while we prepare The boat to go in the water to go on a grand adventure across an ocean for a month with some friends that i met when I was cruising for 13 months and going from Alaska down to the end of Mexico. But instead, it was an inspiring piece about writing your own story and blank-page-people. I don't write with my hands. believe with all my heart and soal.

There's a Hole

    This feels so wrong... Richard should be here, egging me on. Dad should be there, teasing me and mom. But instead there's just this nothingness. This terrible silence. Peace? No. Couldn't be. too troubling... like calm before a storm. I had a total meltdown yesterday. And i don't even know why. I remember thinking, "I feel like i'm living in a nightmare." I think I was missing dad. And Richard. I don't like this peace of mind. I don't like that hole. Yes, hole. I feel like there's a tear in the energy. I'm usually not really spiritual or anything, but I can literally feel the absance. There's no pretending-to-be-contained laughter when I fall (for a joke or for real) and there's no massive hand helping me up. There's no brother to blame. 
    But there is beauty in it too.  I've never particularly liked deserts, but it was very fun hiking, and I enjoyed myself a lot. The rarity of it makes grass seem even more enchanting. It reminds me of dad. The pool is cool and calming,  and i guess i don't mind the absence of a constant stream of abuse flowing from my brother's mouth. I still miss dad, but we get to talk on the phone whenever we want until we're in Mx. I guess you could say I've got it made, as i said in a letter once, going away for a month? That's the kind of stuff i dream about! 
    I can't wait to reclaim my passage to now.

Friday, April 25, 2014

A Mother/Daughter Adventure to Beat All Adventures!

Tomorrow morning Carmen and I are venturing out.  On our own.  A mother/daughter team embarking on an adventure that will take us via plane, car, and sailboat to places we've been and also to places we've never been.  We are helping friends of ours aboard the Sailing Vessel Sweet Dreams sail across the Pacific Ocean (well, part of the Pacific Ocean) from San Carlos, Sonora, Mexico to the Marquesas and Tahiti in French Polynesia. 

Here is a link to a google map describing our general destinations and itinerary.

As we prepare for this, I am buzzing with excitement.  For the past seventeen years I have been lucky to share my life with Bruce, my soulmate, my partner in crime, the father of my children, my captain.  We met while living aboard sailboats in Jersey City, New Jersey, and have since logged many thousands of miles (over 15,000 I think) sailing together all over the west coast of the U.S., Alaska, and Canada.  While sailing, we go together like peas and carrots (as Forrest Gump would say).

Aside from about 19 years ago when I delivered my sailboat from New York City to Boston, this is the first time I've ventured onto the sea in a large sailboat for an extended amount of time without Bruce at my side.  And it is also the first time I've sailed across an ocean, where we will be traveling for 3-4 weeks without stepping foot on land (the longest I've done this in the past was about 3 days when crossing the Gulf of Alaska and the Pacific Ocean heading to Acapulco).  Those times, Bruce was there with me. 

This journey, therefore, feels different.  It has been a long time since I've embarked on an adventure on my own into unknown territory.  Perhaps the last time was 14 years ago when I went through pregnancy and delivered my first baby.  What a mind-opening and mind-blowing experience THAT was!! 

I am hoping this will be another one of those. 

My husband loves that Carmen and I are doing this.  He sees it as an opportunity that may not come again, at a time in our lives (Carmen on the bring of puberty and me just beginning the menopausal journey) when we are beginning to change.  He said in an email recently, "look at the white boat as your red tent."