As the day gets closer, I find myself more and more tied to home. Mostly because there is so much to do here to get ready to go. Going through 15 years worth of living - sorting, organizing, storing, giving away, and throwing out.
I also stay close to home because I love it here. I spent a sweet evening last night curled up by the wood burning stove, and this morning watching rays of sunlight make their way across the bedroom walls. For the past week, I have been systematically shoveling snow and chipping ice from my favorite south-facing front deck that provides hours of warmth and laughter all spring, summer and fall.
The anticipation of our journey feels sweet now, the panic has subsided. To do lists continue to grow, but the end is in sight, the adventure so close I can already feel the wind on my face, the sun on my back.
Still, there remains that annoying little voice that I can't always shake, like an itch in a place on the center of your back that you can't quite reach. It drives those nasty little guilt feelings to the surface, guilt based on our society's message that running off in the middle of a prestigious career, taking children out of school for a year or two, spending most of our savings, is foolish and irresponsible.
As I sit with these two feelings, one full of euphoria, contentment and a sense of peace because I am about to follow a dream, the other creating a guilty pensiveness, I sip coffee and browse the web. And found this quote, which put it all gloriously back into perspective:
" Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."